Keeping your crossdressing secret is a difficult thing to do in today’s world. With social media, videos and pictures posted online your ‘secrets’ can go viral faster than ever before. Keeping your crossdressing secret means keeping it away from prying eyes and avoiding situations that could put you at risk of being discovered. However, this is easier said than done. In this article, you will learn different ways on how to keep your crossdressing secret so that you will remain undetected by others. Crossdressing has been practiced for centuries all over the world in one form or another. Many people who identify as crossdressers have kept their secret for fear of being shunned by society. For this reason, we have prepared this guide on keeping your crossdressing secret so that you too can feel safe about exploring who you are without fear of judgmental eyes watching your every move.
Step 1: Stay Discreet
Unfortunately, due to the stigma surrounding the LGBTQ+ community and gender fluid individuals not everyone is comfortable coming out publicly as a crossdresser, especially to friends and family. The first and foremost thing you have to do is stay discreet. That means don’t brag about your crossdressing activities on social media. It is growing increasingly difficult to create and maintain private social media accounts. In today’s world, there are social media groups and forums that are actively seeking out ‘crossdressing’ pictures and videos. So, even if you think you are being discreet online, it is possible that someone could still discover your secret. In order to steer clear of such problems it is best to avoid posting on most social platforms.
Step 2: Don’t Let Anyone in Your immediate Circle Know
One way to keep your crossdressing secret is by not letting anyone in your circle know about it. You might be inclined to tell your best friend about your crossdressing hobby, but you have to remember that not everyone will be accepting of your choices. If you have to tell someone about your secret, then find someone who you can trust and won’t tell anyone else. A priest or a therapist are two examples of people who will keep your secret since they are bound by confidentiality. Another option is to join a support group for crossdressers in your area. Some people in such groups might know each other, but they are unlikely to let others in their circle know about your activities.
Step 3: Hiding Your Femme Footprint
To avoid people finding out about your little secret you need to purchase your femme clothing discreetly. To prevent people from tracking your search history it may be important to use an incognito tab on a private device like a smartphone. When purchasing items make sure you use payment methods with caution, do not purchase things on a shared account. In extreme, use gift cards as they are untraceable, or use cash apps like paypal to remain anonymous. Make sure the products you purchase are packaged discreetly and are sent to a safe address if you live with others who you hide your lifestyle from. We recommend using a P.O box or UPS store as they will hold your packages until you are ready to collect it anonymously.
Step 4: Learn How to Conceal Your Gender Marks
Another way to keep your crossdressing secret is by learning how to conceal your gender marks when you are dressed as female. That way, you will not be recognized if you see someone who knows your male personna. Gender marks are signs that are unique to men and women like clothes, your voice, and body movement. If you have gender marks that are more masculin, then you must learn how to conceal them when you are presenting as female. Make sure you wear traditional, age-appropriate feminine clothing with a soft style. You should wear body shaping underwear to give you a more womanly figure; body shaping underwear can help you achieve a feminine curvy silhouette. Make use of cosmetics to soften more masculine features. For example, put a little highlighter beneath your inner eyebrows to soften your browbone. Lastly, you can wear nail extensions to elongate your fingers.
Step 5: Choose a Safe Place to Crossdress
Another way to keep your crossdressing secret is by choosing a safe and private place to crossdress. You can do this by selecting a place that is far away from your home, where you can be anonymous. You can also go to a place where no one is likely to stumble upon you while you are crossdressing. For example, you can go to a hotel where you can dress discreetly so you can feel safe about exploring who you are. We have clients who rent a storage unit. They not only store their femme closet there but they also dress there, making it their femme-space. If you want to go out to a more public place try a mall away from where you live. The number of people and distracting activities will help you blend in and increase your chances of passing. If you are just starting out try a costume party or a crossdresser event; this way you can dress how you like without all of the judgment while building up your confidence!
Final Words
You should only come out of the closet as a crossdresser if and when the time is right for you. If you want to keep your crossdressing secret, following these five simple steps will help. Always remain discrete and be careful who you are telling about your crossdressing. Learn how to better hide your femme footprint and gender marks. Finally, choose a safe space to crossdress whether this be at a costume party or a public place away from your home.
If you have any tips for keeping your crossdressing secret that we left out, email us at [email protected] or message us on our Facebook page. And be sure to check out more great tips and articles on our blog!